You want him. You’re wondering how you should play it: Available or hard to get? And then, you may say to yourself, “Hey, if I play hard to get, when can I stop? And when I do stop, will he miss the chase and drop me?” It’s an excellent question. Some men (some women, too) love the chase. They don’t want a relationship; they want drama. They want excitement. They thrive on it. One way not to attract chase junkies is not to play hard to get. Be friendly, be honest, be yourself.

One way not to attract chase junkies is not to play hard to get. Be friendly, be honest, be yourself. But… If you’ve had a history of dating guys who don’t show up, or say they’ll call at a certain time and don’t, you may be (rightly) sick of playing doormat. You want a guy who’s going to do what he said he’s going to do. Ultimately, you want a guy who’s going to be there for you. So… In the initial stage of the relationship, do be friendly. Do be available. He has done you a favor.

If you like a guy, and he says he’ll call you Tuesday and doesn’t get around to it until Thursday, you can say, “I thought you said we’d talk on Tuesday.” Wait for response. He’ll probably apologize and perhaps ask to get together later in the week. At this point, you might want to not be available for him. You might give him another chance by saying, “I’m sorry I can’t do it then, but if you call me ___________ morning, I’ll know what my week looks like. I’d love to get together.”

When you do this, you’re being available but not too available. You’ve also indicated: a) that you do like him, but he blew his chance to see you this week by not calling when he promised and b) that you have a full and happy life and are not waiting around to take some guy’s call. But isn’t this playing hard to get? No, because you’re not playing. You’ve been honest. You’ve also set a boundary and let him know that your time is valuable. You have set yourself apart.